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@@ -402,9 +402,13 @@ passes, because fixing one pattern often introduces another.
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delete it or expand it into a complete sentence that adds actual
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delete it or expand it into a complete sentence that adds actual
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information.
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information.
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16. Check for unnecessary elaboration at the end of sentences. Read the last
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16. Check for unnecessary elaboration. Read every clause, phrase, and adjective
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clause or phrase of each sentence and ask whether the sentence would lose
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in each sentence and ask whether the sentence loses meaning without it. This
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any meaning without it. If not, cut it.
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includes trailing clauses that restate what the sentence already said,
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redundant modifiers ("a single paragraph" when "a paragraph" works),
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secondary clauses that add nothing ("which is why this matters"), and any
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words whose removal doesn't change the meaning. If you can cut it and the
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sentence still says the same thing, cut it.
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17. Find every pivot paragraph ("But here's where it gets interesting." and
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17. Find every pivot paragraph ("But here's where it gets interesting." and
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similar) and delete it. The paragraph after it always contains the actual
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similar) and delete it. The paragraph after it always contains the actual
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