add unnecessary elaboration tell and checklist item 16

prompts/LLM_PROSE_TELLS.md

@@ -3,7 +3,7 @@
 All of these show up in human writing occasionally. No single one is conclusive
 on its own. The difference is concentration. A person might lean on one or two
 of these habits across an entire essay, but LLM output will use fifteen of them
-per paragraph, consistently, throughout the entire piece.
+per paragraph.
 
 ---
 
@@ -120,6 +120,21 @@ The first clause already makes the point. The contrasting clause restates it
 from the other direction. If you delete the "whereas" clause and the sentence
 still says everything it needs to, the contrast was filler.
 
+### Unnecessary Elaboration
+
+Models keep going after the sentence has already made its point, tacking on
+clarifying phrases, adverbial modifiers, or restatements that add nothing.
+
+> "A person might lean on one or two of these habits across an entire essay, but
+> LLM output will use fifteen of them per paragraph, consistently, throughout
+> the entire piece."
+
+This sentence could end at "paragraph." The words after it just repeat what "per
+paragraph" already means. Models do this because they're optimizing for clarity
+at the expense of concision, and because their training rewards thoroughness.
+The result is prose that feels padded. If you can cut the last third of a
+sentence without losing any meaning, the last third shouldn't be there.
+
 ### The Question-Then-Answer
 
 > "So what does this mean for the average user? It means everything."
@@ -389,50 +404,54 @@ passes, because fixing one pattern often introduces another.
     delete it or expand it into a complete sentence that adds actual
     information.
 
-16. Find every pivot paragraph ("But here's where it gets interesting." and
+16. Check for unnecessary elaboration at the end of sentences. Read the last
+    clause or phrase of each sentence and ask whether the sentence would lose
+    any meaning without it. If not, cut it.
+
+17. Find every pivot paragraph ("But here's where it gets interesting." and
     similar) and delete it. The paragraph after it always contains the actual
     point.
 
 ### Pass 3: Paragraph and Section-Level Review
 
-17. Check paragraph lengths across the piece and verify they actually vary. If
+18. Check paragraph lengths across the piece and verify they actually vary. If
     most paragraphs have between three and five sentences, rewrite some to be
     one or two sentences and let others run to six or seven.
 
-18. Check section lengths for suspicious uniformity. If every section is roughly
+19. Check section lengths for suspicious uniformity. If every section is roughly
     the same word count, combine some shorter ones or split a longer one
     unevenly.
 
-19. Check the first word of every paragraph for chains of connectors ("However,"
+20. Check the first word of every paragraph for chains of connectors ("However,"
     "Furthermore," "Moreover," "Additionally," "That said"). If more than two
     transition words start consecutive paragraphs, rewrite those openings to
     start with their subject.
 
-20. Check whether every argument is followed by a concession or qualifier. If
+21. Check whether every argument is followed by a concession or qualifier. If
     the piece both-sides every point, pick a side on at least some of them and
     cut the hedging.
 
-21. Read the first paragraph and ask whether deleting it would improve the
+22. Read the first paragraph and ask whether deleting it would improve the
     piece. If it's scene-setting that previews the argument, delete it and start
     with paragraph two.
 
-22. Read the last paragraph and check whether it restates the thesis or uses a
+23. Read the last paragraph and check whether it restates the thesis or uses a
     phrase like "at the end of the day" or "moving forward." If so, either
     delete it or rewrite it to say something the piece hasn't said yet.
 
 ### Pass 4: Overall Texture
 
-23. Read the piece aloud and listen for passages that sound too smooth, too
+24. Read the piece aloud and listen for passages that sound too smooth, too
     even, or too predictable. Human prose has rough patches. If there aren't
     any, the piece still reads as machine output.
 
-24. Check that the piece contains at least a few constructions that feel
+25. Check that the piece contains at least a few constructions that feel
     idiosyncratic: a sentence with unusual word order, a parenthetical that goes
     on a bit long, an aside only loosely connected to the main point, a word
     choice that's specific and unexpected. If every sentence is clean and
     correct and unremarkable, it will still read as generated.
 
-25. Verify that you haven't introduced new patterns while fixing the original
+26. Verify that you haven't introduced new patterns while fixing the original
     ones. This happens constantly. Run the entire checklist again from the top
     on the revised version.